Giving Thanks

Two years ago, my partner and I went to an American Thanksgiving celebration in Munich hosted by friends from Singapore. Shortly thereafter, memories of turkey with cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie still on our minds, we decided to make Thanksgiving a feature of our intercultural life together.

Without thinking much of it a year ago, I suggested to my parents that they spend the following Thanksgiving in Germany. It had been strange, they said, celebrating with their friends and their friends’ children with none of their own children around. “So come to us,” I said, and they booked flights. “We’re hosting Thanksgiving,” I told my partner after one phone conversation not too many months ago. It took us both a little by surprise.

In the train station just moments after my parents arrived on Friday night, my partner turned to me: “I hope the turkey’s not frozen.” As a group, we agreed that it wasn’t and that we’d adjust if it was. In my dreams, I was up to my eyeballs in vegetables while my partner was out trying to catch the turkey, which had inexplicably morphed from being frozen to being alive. With our oven schedule dictating our Saturday morning alarm, we woke to the first blue sky seen in a week. A good omen if there ever was one.

Although we’d one day love a Thanksgiving with thirty-odd people, this year’s gathering was small. Along with my parents who spent the day preparing with us, doing the normal daily life things that people who live far apart don’t do together, we hosted my partner’s parents and a couple of friends who knew of Thanksgiving from American television and film. It was a first Thanksgiving to host, a first Thanksgiving to attend, a first Thanksgiving celebrated in Germany. Firsts for us all.

In the living room of our one-bedroom apartment, we rearranged the furniture to seat everyone around the coffee table. In the kitchen, we laid a table of turkey and cranberry sauce (the essential ingredient of which my parents brought from the US), two kinds of gravy, mashed potatoes, roasted vegetables, lemony rice, green beans, and baguettes topped with squash and ricotta cheese. Later came pecan squares, pumpkin pie, real whipped cream, and ice cream. We served beer, wine, and Glühwein (mulled wine), and rounded out the evening with a round of our favourite schnapps.

Somewhere between turkey and dessert, my mum suggested sharing what we’re grateful for. This is something my family has always done, and I told the group about the lists we have written in the past and tucked into the purple Thanksgiving folder that comes out once a year. With some wet eyes (or water in the beard, as the German expression goes) and pauses for translation into one language or the other, we went around the table and shared a little of what was in our hearts.

By the time the kitchen was clean in the wee hours of the morning, my throat was sore from talking and my face from smiling. Had gravity not been pulling me firmly to the ground, I would have soared. To look around a room and feel so much love, to hear the same well wishes and hopes spoken in different languages, and to feel so much at home among all of it is a moment for which I am thankful.

Bad Herrenalb, Germany – February 2023

Forest Greetings

There’s a river just south of our apartment – follow it east.
When the option becomes available, turn south to walk above the train tracks, which takes you into the forest.
I love this forest, and it is my place to go to breathe the air. It is my place to go to feel myself differently, and when I need to get away.

I was sitting on a bench in my favourite clearing with eyes closed, a result of not having slept well the night before. I heard the runner before he appeared (sound travels in forests), and opened my eyes right before he called out that I shouldn’t startle. I wished him well on his run and he paused several meters in front of me. He looked back over his shoulder to ask if I wasn’t cold. I was wearing a thick sweater under my coat, I assured him. “You have that youthful fire,” he stated matter-of-factly. He was an older gentleman and we had addressed each other with the formal “you”, so I knew to feel flattered, and I did. I laughed, we said goodbye, and he went on his way.

When the runner was out of earshot, I got up to continue my walk home, suddenly rejuvenated. I’d been in a funk all day as a result of the broken sleep, and I felt myself refreshed.

Sometimes, all you need is a walk in the forest, friendly strangers, and a new pair of eyes.

Jena, Germany – March 2024

Vote!

My political coming of age occurred during the Obama years, a different time that seems like it came out of a different world. The question that hung around my university in the fall of 2008 was whether America was ready to choose a Black man as president. There was discourse, discussion, and dialogue. There were conversations about policies and expertise, the economy and foreign affairs. I went to at least one student-run forum to analyze policy positions of different candidates. Like my peers, I made what I thought was the best choice, and I voted in my first election.

For years after that, I continued to look into policy statements and records. I read the websites of everyone running for local and state office for every election, and I voted in every local and state election. I subscribed to newsletters and read the emails that poured into my inbox. I made lists of pros and cons and tried to do what I had been taught in school, which was to inform myself and make a decision.

And then came 2016.

I’d just returned from two years living overseas and moved back to a country I didn’t recognize. Dialogue and discourse were no longer words that were used. It was a time of rallies rather than campaign events, insulting rather than debating, catastrophe and failure rather than hope and change. With a group of friends, I attended gatherings and marches, signed petitions, called elected officials and left messages whenever their mailboxes weren’t full. This was the game plan before the election and it remained the game plan thereafter. The game wasn’t over.

Now here we are in 2024. And we are asking a similar question to the one that was humming through my university in 2008: Is America ready for a Black woman as president?

But this is very different from 2008. Now, the questions about specific policies have become less important because answers about other policies loom large. The dialogue that occurs takes place between people who already know one another’s opinions, and probably agree with them. There are deep feelings rather than deep discourse.

The front page of The New York Times today proclaims, “WORRY AND HOPE ON LAST DAY OF VOTING”. In 2008, the front page read, “The ’08 Campaign: A Sea Change for Politics as We Know It”.

My political awakening occurred not so long ago, but in a different time. The world will be a different place still as a result of who wins this election. The only way to be part of that decision is to exercise the most basic democratic right, which is to vote. And if voting feels good, vote for those who believe in your right to make your voice heard.

Vote for those who believe in the democratic system that allows for dialogue and discourse, questions and answers.

Vote for those who want to build up a country for its people rather than tearing it apart.

Vote for the people who wanted to and couldn’t, who tried to and were condemned, who fought for it and died.

Vote. Because it matters.

New York City – January 2017

Photos, travels, musings, and ideas on education by someone trying to make the world a better and more peaceful place