Tag Archives: Family

On My Mind

Lightbulbs (and the stark reality of independence)

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I’m speaking quite literally here. Two of the lightbulbs in my rather fancy light fixture in the living room have burnt out and I need help replacing them. I am 5 feet and one and a half inches tall. Standing on my coffee table puts me nowhere near the light. It would probably behoove me to buy a step ladder, but that would involve buying a step ladder. Considering I know my days in this apartment are numbered, I’m not keen on spending any more money than I have to in order to live comfortably.

That being said, trying to read when two of five lightbulbs in the only light fixture anywhere near the couch have burnt out is not exactly comfortable. I have to admit, I’m relying on the fact that my dad is coming to visit in just over two weeks. If he weren’t . . . I’d probably just have a few tall friends over and see what they could accomplish while standing on the coffee table.

In all seriousness, though, I like to think of myself as an independent woman. In most ways, I am. I could easily fix this myself. However, I’m making the conscious decision not to.

And I’m not sure why.

The first lightbulb burnt out about two weeks ago, and that’s when I first thought, “Well, at least Dad’s coming.”

I think that in some ways, we all like to be helped and, conversely, to be needed. The roles that we are accustomed to playing are comfortable for us and help preserve the status quo or social norms govern our lives. There’s all sorts of research on sibling relationships and birth order to suggest that.

In my DP Psych class, we’ve been talking about situational and dispositional factors that influence behavior. In this particular case, dispositional factors are influencing my decision to squint at my book for the next two and some weeks before my dad arrives and changes my lightbulbs. It’s been a while since I’ve let someone take care of me; it’s been a while since I’ve let myself simply be someone’s child.

Even though I chose to live halfway around the world and I live alone, I miss that.

Update: Upon further reflection, I decided that my behavior described above is both ridiculous and unacceptable. Today after school I popped into a Chinese supermarket (though really the only thing “super” about it is its wine prices) and bought two new lightbulbs. I set a very sturdy kitchen chair on top of the coffee table, which is so heavy I can’t even move it, and managed to replace the lightbulbs. Hooray for independence!

On My Mind

All good things . . .

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. . . must come to an end. (You knew that’s where the title was going, didn’t you? So clever.) Today was my last full day in Rochester, which means that tomorrow I will put myself on a plane and begin the trek to Singapore. I’m more excited than apprehensive (famous last words) and I feel more prepared to move abroad now than I was a year ago.

It’s true that experience is the best teacher. I’ve had a lot of experiences and I know so much more now than I did before spending nearly a year in Malaysia. Ironically, I’m worried (okay, there we go – the truth comes out) about different things than I was before my first big move. Rather than panicking about teaching a new age group, I spent time figuring out areas where I can afford to live, which type of phone plan to buy, which bank to use, where to buy basics like sheets and towels, and which grocery stores and shops are near the hotel where I’ll be staying for a week or so. Mitch helped me map out different restaurants, hawker centers, and bars that we’ve frequented in the past so that I can find them on my own. As I mentioned in an earlier post, I’ve done as much school prep as I can right now.

Most importantly, I’ve decided it’s all going to be okay. One of the biggest challenges that I faced on arrival in Malaysia was uncertainty about how I was going to stay in touch with my family. Topping up cell phone data and FaceTime Audio are old hat now, so that’s all set. I love Singapore and I’m more familiar with it than I was with Malaysia when I first landed, so that’s a huge plus. I know it’ll work out, I know I’ll love living there, and I know I’ll love teaching high school social studies again. It’s kinda fun, this optimism thing.

Spending six weeks at home this summer has definitely recharged my battery. I have been relaxing, seeing friends, spending time with family, making a bit of money on the boat, and enjoying the calm that both summer and home bring. I know that I’m not the easiest person to be friends with right now because I’m so transient, and I really appreciate the efforts of those who have travelled this summer to see me during my short time at home.

Finally, I’m looking forward to returning to a part of the world I have grown to love. If you ever find yourself in Southeast Asia and want to chat, or if you’d like travel suggestions in more detail than I post on this blog, let me know! It’s a big world out there and I’m fortunate to have a job that allows me to explore it.

On My Mind

Steps Forward

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It has now been 11 days since Mitch and I returned to Rochester. In that time, I’ve marveled over American efficiency, enjoyed much-missed diner breakfast, remembered why I like running, visited my old “stomping grounds” with friends, and spent a great deal of time with my family. I also made a decision about the future.

Over the weekend, I booked my one-way flight to Singapore. I called Mitch before I clicked “submit payment” and he encouraged me to go for it. For a cost, just about anything is reversible. (Not that I plan to incur that cost, but it’s a comforting thought.) 

For the time being, I’ll remain mum about Mitch’s plans and prospects. Don’t want to jinx anything. In a likelihood, we’ll spend a year apart in order to make some money and gain some experience before moving forward, wherever that happens to be.