Tag Archives: Family

On My Mind

‘Twas the Night Before Thanksgiving

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Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and I all I want to do right now is go home. My friends are arriving from various parts of the country to spend Thanksgiving with their families, students and teachers are off school Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday to celebrate, people get together to laugh, play football, and eat delicious fall foods. It’s my favorite time of year and it’s really hard to be away from home right now.

Not much has improved at school since I wrote about the teachers who left. A week later, another cowoker left the country and went home, which was absolutely devastating because I worked very closely with him and his students. It also fell to me to tell his students (and our boss, for that matter), which made for the worst day I have ever spent in a classroom. We all cried, and I have never cried in front of students. And I don’t mean I dabbed at my eyes with a tissue; I watched the students mourn their loss, and it was terrible.

A new teacher for one of the classes showed up from Australia on Thursday, which was really exciting. She was with the students for part of the day on Friday, called in sick Monday, went home sick Tuesday, and called in sick again today, Wednesday. When I got home from the gym tonight there was a note under my door from her telling our boss that her “heart isn’t in it here.”

That was quick. (Guess it’s my job to break the news again.)

That should also give you a good idea of how things are.

Intellectually, I know why I came and I know why I’m here. I came to teach and to learn and I’m here to teach and to learn. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, I’ve got nothing. Mitch and I gave up a lot to move to Malaysia so I could try out teaching at an international school. We were talking very seriously about The Question, talking about a buying a house, talking about what we wanted out of life.

I can’t regret coming to Malaysia because I believe it was the right idea at the time, but there are days when I yearn to go back in time and change it all.

On My Mind

29 Days

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There are 29 school days between now and Christmas break and all the expats are making travel plans. 29 school days is actually a lot, but if we talk about it often enough maybe it will feel closer. Some of my coworkers booked their flights home as soon as the calendar was finalized in September. Others, such as myself, waited.

Waited for what, you ask? Thanks for asking, but I’m not sure.

My original plan was to travel around Australia and New Zealand because I’m so much closer than I ever would be from just about anywhere else. A little bit of research about a month ago told me that the flights were way more expensive than I’d anticipated. Maybe that would not have been the case had I looked into it earlier, but I didn’t.

Then there was the plan of my parents and brother coming to visit me, but Mum wasn’t exactly keen. I have not provided her with a complimentary description of Malaysia, and while we would travel rather than stay in Seremban, of course, Malaysia is really far away from America’s East Coast. It’s just not worth a 10-day trip because at least 4 days are eaten up by travel.

My sister is working as an au pair in Spain until the end of June and Mum and Dad decided it would be much easier to visit Spain over Christmas. (And Mum likes creature comforts and hygiene more than anyone I’ve ever met, so she probably wouldn’t do terribly well in Malaysia.) The family Bri is working for has given her the whole school break off, too! It’s convenient that my siblings and I, currently in three different countries, have the same school break. After discussion and a look at flight options, I decided that Christmas in Spain was the way to go.

Last night I booked my flights so I’m officially going to Spain with my family for Christmas! I am so excited to see them and spend time with them, but also a little nervous. I think it’s going to be extremely difficult to say goodbye and come back to Seremban, especially considering I wouldn’t call myself happy here.

Ironically enough, I’d been talking about going to Australia for Christmas before I even arrived in Malaysia and it’s summer there now, as it is here all the time. What don’t I have with me? Winter clothes. Back home, three-quarters of my wardrobe was winter things and I have exactly zero of them. I don’t even have a pair of closed-toe shoes! Or a long-sleeved shirt! Everything I left at home is in boxes in Mum and Dad’s basement, so one day Mum and I will go through my things via FaceTime and she’ll pack a bag for me. I’ll do some quick shopping here to obtain warm things to get me through travel and one day because I land about 8 hours earlier than my family.

Never thought that lack of winter clothes would be a problem for this Montreal-born, upstate-New-York-raised girl. Goes to show you what I know! Note to self: Next trip around the world, squeeze in a pair of flats and a sweatshirt.

On My Mind

Dance Like No One is Watching

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In 2003, Teitur released his first album, Poetry and Aeroplanes. I’ve listened to a lot of music since then, but this album is still the most romantic album I’ve ever heard. (His second album, by the way, did not carry the same tone.) The chorus to “Let’s Go Dancing” contains the following lyrics:

Let’s go dancing
Waltz around the rumor mill
In your faded dress with the daffodils
Let’s go dancing
Let time stand still

I’ve had this song in my head a fair bit recently, probably because Mitch and I have been taking dance lessons for about 8 months. He was in a ballroom dance club in college and taking lessons together was actually Mitch’s idea. We’re most proficient in salsa and cha cha, but we’ve dabbled in waltz, American tango, and bachata (very, very briefly on the latter).

Teitur has been stuck in my head all morning (did you know that’s called an earworm?) because last night was our last class at our studio, Inikori. I really didn’t expect to have such a hard time saying goodbye. We’ve only been at Inikori since March or April and we see our fellow salsa and cha cha learners once a week for an hour and a half. I guess dancing with strangers lends itself to a certain sort of intimacy; it’s hard to remain strangers when you’re immediately forced into partner relationships. A round of hugs and well wishes for our adventure to Malaysia was a clear indication that we had become part of a family, a family that both Mitch and I are reluctant to leave. If/when we move back to Rochester, Inikori will be one of our first destinations.

To ease our sorrows about saying goodbye to the Inikori family last night, we joined a few friends at a local rum bar for a drink. I took a picture of the empty patio behind us as soon as we arrived, and I’m glad I did because it was full by the time we left. Havana Cabana has live music and Latin dancing on the weekends, so Mitch and I are going dancing there tonight.

Rum bar

Saying goodbye to so many people this spring and summer has been quite a challenge. I’ve said goodbye to my students (that was devastating), coworkers, family members, and friends. You’d think I’d be good at it by now. But I hate saying goodbye. Leaving is hard. Life goes on for everyone, no matter who is in the picture and who is not. Sometimes old friends come home for a few days and are shocked by new haunts, new additions to our friend group, new apartments, new restaurants. I’m nervous to go away, but I’m also nervous to come back to totally different realties than the ones I know now. In Hebrew, there’s a word for “goodbye” and another word for “see you later.” There’s less finality there.

Cheers to dance, cheers to music, and cheers to adventure.