Tag Archives: Friends

In the Alps: Berliner Höhenweg

The German word “Hochtour” literally translates to “high tour” and the term is used to describe a trek through the Alps that passes through snow or over a glacier. As it’s been in Europe where I’ve become involved in mountaineering, I don’t know if there’s a single English word for this concept. I also don’t know how trekking through the Alps compares to multi-day trekking in North America, where I’m from. But I do know that my first Hochtour, accompanied by my partner and two girlfriends, left me hungry for more.

Based on available time and building in a buffer for the weather (summer is thunderstorm season in the Alps), we decided on a four-day trek along the Berliner Höhenweg, a famous nine-day route in the Zillertal Alps in Austria. Based on a weather report from friends who were in the area at the beginning of June, we changed some of our packing to include essentials for snow, which had come late and heavy. We added an ice axe, crampons, trekking poles, climbing harnesses, carabiners, and a rope; all of these items are needed to cross a glacier (stay tuned for a blog post!) and all could be helpful in snow. In the best case, we wouldn’t need anything but the crampons and trekking poles, but preparation is key.

Day 1: Breitlahner to Berliner Hütte

Our Hochtour began with a warm-up hike from the long-term parking lot at the Breitlahner restaurant and guesthouse to the Berliner Hütte, the first of the guesthouses (“Hütte” means “hut” but that has a different connotation in English) to be built in the Zillertal Alps. We ascended 780 meters in just over 9 kilometers, arriving shortly before the rain.

As we would quickly learn, we moved rather more slowly than the posted time estimates. This was likely due to inexperience within our group, but we also suspected that the estimated times described perfect conditions without backpacks. (Or so we told ourselves.)

The way led us past rivers and waterfalls . . .

. . . through fields of flowers, including our only wild edelweiss right at the Berliner Hütte . . .

. . . and alongside grazing cattle, whose gently tinkling bells accompanied us long before and after the cattle themselves were in view . . .

We were, of course, surrounded the whole time by mountains . . .

. . . and passed a World War I memorial on the way dedicated to the alpine club members who had died in the war.

This was the first of many memorials that we passed along our route, constant reminders that the mountains are not a playground.

Ready for a celebratory radler, a mixture of beer and lemonade known in the UK as a shandy, and a shot of Zirbe, a liquor made from a type of pine found in the Alps region, we reached the Berliner Hütte at 2,042 meters.

From here we could see where we’d be going next. We turned in early after a hearty dinner and a few rounds of cards; the following day would be a big one.

Day 2: Berliner Hütte – Furtschaglhaus

We woke to rain that came in waves over the course of the day, during which we would ascend 1,060 meters, descend 810 meters, and cover close to 9 kilometers.

For a variety of reasons, the way took us much too long. We were lucky that the original forecast calling for thunderstorms had changed, but the rain that blew in instead was nasty enough, and it was there that I realized I needed a new rain coat.

We began following the trail markers over sheets of rock that gave way to a trail that wound through scrubby trees and bushes marking the end of the tree line. The tiny alpine flowers provided pops of colour through the fog.

It wasn’t long before we needed to cross a river, one that is not always as high as it was when we were there. We looked for the most accessible points in the direction of the bridge that we very much needed.

Shortly thereafter, the rain cleared and we were greeted first by waterfalls, mystical as the clouds pulled away to reveal mountains . . .

. . . and then by goats sharing our path.

The mountains grew even more imposing . . .

. . . and we soon encountered the conditions that would be with us for the coming hours. We continued over rocks and boulders as the clouds came and went . . .

. . . and reached the first of the patches of snow that we would cross, all of which were larger and deeper than usual at this time of year. As we continued and the conditions became more technically challenging, crampons and trekking poles would prove their worth many times over. The winter child in me was delighted.

It started to rain again when we exited the largest of the snow fields so far and began the scramble in the direction of our planned summit. Unable to see or feel my fingers as I scrambled alone over jagged and unpredictable rock, voices of my friends somewhere below me, I had a moment of panic unlike anything I’d experienced before. It was neither graceful nor collected, but I continued to move until I reached a point where I didn’t know how to go further. A friend reached me and, feeling immediately better for not being alone, we pressed on together. This experience stayed with me for the rest of our trip and I handled myself much better on a different mountain later on (stay tuned!). There is a first time for everything and I know why I got scared. I also know why, in retrospect, I didn’t need to be. The key, at least for me, is working with the mountain rather than fighting against it. And this is something I had to learn.

The rain was kind enough to stop for a while as we reached the summit of Schönbichler Horn at 3,133 meters. Exhausted from the efforts of the previous hours, which had us well behind schedule but clearly past the threat of thunderstorms, we did not linger long, aware of how much farther we had to go.

We would find ourselves in snow multiple times over the next several hours, using crampons only when absolutely required in an effort to save time. We were cold and tired, the rain became relentless, and the difficulties within the group became more apparent.

Descending to Furtschaglhaus at 2,295 meters took much longer than it should have and I have never been more grateful for a hot shower. Those three glorious minutes were our longest shower of the trip and worth every cent.

Day 3: Furtschaglhaus to Olpererhütte

In comparison to the previous day, our path to the Olpererhütte was far less physically demanding. At over 10.5 kilometers, this was our longest day yet, but with only a 510 meter descent and 610 meter ascent. The five flat kilometers in the middle of the route followed the Schlegeis Reservoir, and we were looking forward to a little break.

Although we hadn’t had the energy to notice, the landscape had changed during our descent the day before. We were out of fields of snow and jagged stone and back to grass, gentle rocks, flowers, and waterfalls.

As when we first began, we passed grazing cattle as we made our way down to the Schlegeis Reservoir.

The route is beloved for day hikes as well as being part of the Berliner Höhenweg, and I can understand why. The bright flowers and the reservoir in bright blue with the mountains all around are rather photogenic.

However, the change of landscape came in stark contrast to the challenging solitude of being deep in the mountains. After some time on a gravel path with a heavy backpack, passing day hikers in sneakers and sandals, I was looking forward to being back “up there” with people who understood what we were doing and why we were doing it.

The ascent to the Olpererhütte, while full of pretty views . . .

. . . comprised of a clear path that zig-zagged along the side of the mountain. There was no way-finding using markers, no need to stop and think before putting one foot in front of the other. And because of its straightforwardness, it was busy and crowded. While not a path that I’d recommend doing in sandals, there were plenty of hikers doing just that. Choosing strategic points to get by them was about as challenging as it got, and we reached the Olpererhütte rather uninspired.

But being greeted by the resident animals was charming and it was comfortable to sit outside bundled up after the steep walk up to 2,389 meters.

The atmosphere of the hut changed after the day hikers left and the rest of us settled down to dinner, drinks, and cards. Feeling refreshed after our easy day, we spent our last night in the mountains in laughter.

Day 4: Olpererhütte to Breitlahner

We had planned our route so that we could walk back down to where we’d parked without the need for buses or trains. At slightly over 10.5 kilometers, this meant a 270 meter ascent and then a huge descent of 1,390 meters. Once again, we were very grateful for the trekking poles. We would pass another hut, Friesenberghaus, on the way.

The day started scrambling over boulders and small snow fields, aspects of a Hochtour to which we had become accustomed and that I really enjoyed. There’s an element of playfulness amidst the need to be sure-footed and deliberate.

As usual, we were greeted by cows. This time, though, they seemed to enjoy the sweeping vistas as much as we did. Perhaps it is not only humans who feel tiny and inconsequential when finding themselves in so much mighty, majestic nature.

After a round of steep snow fields, the landscape began to change yet again and alpine flowers appeared.

We saw Friesenberghaus before we reached it, picking our way down through particularly steep sections of snow, several of which had us first ascending, which was rather easier.

We stopped for a bowl of soup to get out of the rain that had picked up. It was interesting to note the bit of history on the wall, thanking the members of the Berlin section of the alpine club for their resistance against the exclusion of Jewish members from the German and Austrian alpine clubs. There is little place for exclusion in the mountains.

I also appreciated the sense of humour at Frisenberghaus in which a stuffed animal was employed as a weather station.

When Joachim . . .
Dry – Sun
Cries – Rain
White – Snow
Dances – Wind
Invisible – Fog
Hops – Earthquake

Doubles – Alcohol
Speaks – LSD

Checking our watches, we left before the rain stopped. We weren’t the quickest and had a ways to go.

The way continued to grow grassier as it wandered over rocks and streams. Flowers continued to appear and then scrubby bushes and trees. The air grew more humid and the clouds floated upward.

The final descent was long and we knew we were nearly there when our way headed directly through the trees. The mountains were above us again and we were too far from where we’d started to see where we’d been. Our trekking poles showed good signs of wear by now.


We spent one more night together to recover. We cooked a carbohydrate-heavy meal, drank wine, showered for free without looking at the time. We laughed and shared photos and congratulated one another.

We had been in the mountains, had experienced the rhythms of weather, the physical and emotional cycles of a body under strain, the atmosphere of a guesthouse filled with people who love mountaineering. We had been in the mountains, swept away, taken in, and in awe. Mountains are truly the most beautiful place.

And as glad as I was for a real bed in a room shared with only one person, I missed it immediately.

“The mountains are calling and I must go.” -John Muir

On Cultural Differences

I had a moment of insight recently while on the phone with my oldest friend. The conversation addressed a conflict between people who have known each other for a very long time, do not see similarly on many issues, and have found themselves unable to communicate with one another. As we talked, I thought about the communication challenges I’ve been navigating in an increasingly deep way. My partner and I come from different cultures that are steeped in different styles of communication, express ourselves most easily in different languages, and have different levels of proficiency in each other’s first language. As with anyone building a life together, it makes sense that we will have conflicts; considering our backgrounds, it also makes sense that areas of our conflicts will be due to cultural or linguistic differences. What has surprised me is how often this is the case, especially in situations where “cultural differences” seems the least likely culprit.

Could it also be the case that people who grew up in the same culture, were raised in a similar manner, and speak the same language can experience intercultural conflict?

I listened to one side of the story, thought back to what I’d previously heard from the other party involved, and realized I was hearing much the same from both sides. There was hurt, abandonment, lack of support, lack of understanding. There was frustration and anger, there was a desire to end the conflict, there was the helplessness of not knowing how to move forward, the sorrow of making decisions that were deemed necessary but also clearly hurtful.

Most significantly, I heard, “I’m sure they think they’re doing X but they’re actually doing Y. They just don’t understand.”

This brought me to the challenges I have experienced in intercultural communication. It is not uncommon that either my partner or I will do X and the other will interpret it as Y. And then when we try to talk about X or Y, it becomes clear that we’re not talking about the same thing because we didn’t experience or interpret the event in the same way. While this is likely often the case in relationships, I find that we often get into a discussion of language, tone, or expectation, all of which run far deeper than the event itself. In the end, it’s the deeper aspect we discuss, navigating through that how we want to be with one another.

So I wondered if maybe this was happening with my oldest friend. I wondered if maybe these people, whose lives had been so similar and interconnected, had moved far enough away from that beginning that their foundation was no longer a basis, no longer a fundament. And if this was the case, maybe their situation was similar to that of my partner and me, who come from different cultural backgrounds. A key factor is perhaps that ours is obvious (and therefore easily forgivable) and theirs is not.

This made me wonder about communication overall, whether much political screaming and social media furor is an example of multiple groups, different enough to be defined as their own culture, lambasting the other about what they think is the same thing, but missing the mark. If society is so fractured into its own subgroups, each with its own media and ethos, it’s reasonable to think that our realities and therefore ways of seeing the world have shifted, and that a “common culture” is not as common as it once was. And maybe this is hard to recognize. Perhaps we talk past each other when we have gone in directions different enough to no longer have a common base. We might expect such behaviour from distinctly different groups, but maybe it is harder to see as such when the groups, at least on the surface, are the same.

Perhaps the error is the assumption that all parties understand X and Y in the same way. We have expectations and assumptions of others and we don’t stop to consider that others’ expectations and assumptions might be different. For aspects of culture that we take for granted, it is unfathomable that anyone else might see a situation differently – simply because we only know what we know.

In the past few weeks, my psychology students have been learning about cultural dimensions in class, the universal facets by which national cultures can be characterized or defined. The point I emphasize with my students is that while the values that make up a culture differ wildly, there is not better or worse, desirable or undesirable. We might not consider that cultures have different perspectives on the importance of time or response to uncertainty, but they do. We are enculturated without realizing that to be the case; norms, values, and expectations are taught naturally and indirectly, and it is often only through looking at another culture, bemused by the differences that we notice, that we begin to learn about our own.

Having lived in and alongside multiple cultures, I have tried to let go of my own assumptions and expectations and put myself in different mindset when the occasion requires. If I’m the only one annoyed at a process, chances are it’s my problem and not the process. The process does what it is meant to do, though maybe differently than I have experienced in the past. It is much more comfortable, indeed after a significant amount of discomfort and uncertainty, to simply accept this to be the case rather than to lament other processes that fulfil the same functions. It can be very difficult to avoid value judgments at first, but it is much more pleasant to move within another culture having done so.

As I navigate a life that seems to be setting down roots, and as I find myself spending increasingly more time in what international school parlance calls “local culture”, I recognize more of where I come from, my ideas of norms, assumptions, and expectations shifting along the way. I get scared sometimes, scared of losing myself and what shaped me. There are certain aspects I cling to because it is very hard to navigate while adrift. Even those of us who wander have moments with both feet firmly planted on the ground.

When I think about the conflict my oldest friend described, I see cultural differences. I see people whose understandings of the world around them come from fundamentally different places, and there may be multiple reasons why that’s the case. I see people who do not see that they experience the world differently, but rather assume that their understandings are held in common. It could be that a conversation needs a moderator to tease these things out, to gently prod feelings about X and Y toward a discussion of what I think are much deeper origins.

The humility and vulnerability that it requires to engage in such a conversation cannot be understated, and the very real fear that one might experience under such circumstances is in itself an act of tremendous courage. We have relatively little practice stripping ourselves bare. We are made up of many, many layers and sometimes, to move forward, we need to find out what they are and why they formed. I believe that it is the soul that shines more brightly in the end; looking for the soul of another is what makes such a conversation possible. Getting to know another is an act of bravery because of what it requires of oneself.

And I believe it is never too late to begin again.

The surface of the earth is soft and impressible by the feet of men; and so with the paths which the mind travels. How worn and dusty, then, must be the highways of the world, how deep the ruts of tradition and conformity! I did not wish to take a cabin passage, but rather to go before the mast and on the deck of the world, for there I could best see the moonlight amid the mountains. I do not wish to go below now. – Henry David Thoreau, Walden

A Found Book

It’s no secret that I love books. I love reading, I love learning, I love getting lost in a story, fiction or non.

Anna Amalia Bibliothek, Weimar, Germany – October 2022

I love how books feel in my hands, how they smell, how new ways of seeing the world ever so gradually reveal themselves. I love bookstores, used, new, antique, and I cannot walk in without buying something, anything, even if it’s not a book.

Singapore Library @ Orchard, Singapore – May 2021

(I have a hard time with the many bookstores in Weimar because only one has books in English, but I have bought something at each of them.)

As a frequent traveller, I’ve learned to love the convenience of e-readers and have read thousands upon thousands of pages on the tiny screen of my phone. I often feel a sense of panic when I don’t have a book on me, and my digital library is a comfort, particularly in airports.

Housing Works Bookstore Café, New York City – March 2018

I have sought out bookstores on my travels, retreated to libraries when I didn’t have anywhere else to go.

Riva del Garda, Italy – April 2022

So I was immediately touched when a book appeared in my mailbox last week, a volume smaller than my hand and so old that I was initially afraid to open it. German fairytales, I recognized from the title. The text inside was from long enough ago that even if I could discern the words from the intricate type, my rudimentary German would certainly not be up to the task of translating.

New York Public Library Main Reading Room, New York City – December 2016

But wait – a book in my mailbox?

I sent a message to the person I suspected would be behind such things. The response led to reaching out to four more people and then, with some prompting, returning to the first. It wouldn’t be the first book we’ve shared, after all.

Julian, California – December 2017

It’s incredibly dear, really, gifting a book. It means knowing someone well enough to know what speaks to their heart, or their soul, and to know that there are so many people in my life who have given me books is an astonishing feeling.

Budapest, Hungary – May 2023

And it brings me real joy to return the gift, whether through beautifully illustrated books for children, carefully considered volumes for friends and family, or the booklist I finally put together after years of requests from psychology students.

Atlantis Books, Santorini, Green – October 2018

But a book in my mailbox? A book printed in Vienna with original illustrations, but unfortunately lacking a publication date?

A book slipped into my mailbox, no additional details, was a first, and I am honoured.

The Strand, New York City – November 2016

“What are you reading?” isn’t a simple question when asked with genuine curiosity; it’s really a way of asking, “Who are you now and who are you becoming?” – Will Schwalbe