29 at Twenty-Nine

Happy birthday to me, a blog post for you!

Since this is the last year of my 20s, I thought I’d begin with a list of 29 things that comprise my current self and world understanding, things I’ve learned along the journey so far. These 29 things might not be objectively true (my evidence leans anecdotal) but they’re my present subjective reality. I’d love to hear your thoughts on areas of commonality and disagreement. What have you learned about the world?

Here’s what I know:

  1. The world is a beautiful place. It might not always seem so, but look around and you’ll find it.
  2. Despite being a beautiful place, the world is full of suffering. Look around and you’ll find it. Look inside and you’ll find it.
  3. People are imperfect. They make mistakes. They’ll hurt you, they’ll hurt themselves, and then they’ll do it all over again. And again. And again.
  4. People are afraid. They’re afraid of their own minds, of rejection, of failure, of pain. And then they act in ways that cause rejection, failure, and pain.
  5. As individuals, we have very little autonomy. We have very little choice. We are constrained in almost everything we do unless we purposely set ourselves up to do otherwise.
  6. People want to be recognized. They want to be heard, seen, and listened to.
  7. Young people, students, want to be recognized. They want to be heard, seen, and listened to. They want to be treated like people.
  8. Compassion is a continuous practice towards others and towards ourselves. Practicing compassion helps us to care for individuals as well as for our planet.
  9. We often talk about love as a feeling, but love is also an action. Act in ways that show love.
  10. Dropping expectations expands the possible. Experience what is rather than what you were hoping for.
  11. Inefficiency wastes much of our time. Ask for help so that you can spend that time on things more important to you.
  12. It’s okay to say no. It’s okay to fail. It’s okay to give in or give up.
  13. There are many occasions when done is better than perfect.
  14. Being honest is painful; getting caught in a lie is more painful.
  15. It is possible to learn to control your mind.
  16. Be kind to everyone because who you know matters a lot more than what you know.
  17. Humans are social animals who evolved to connect with others. Technology both facilitates and distracts; use it wisely.
  18. Be aware of what you do versus what you say. If they don’t match and you want them to, look deeply and be better.
  19. Helping others sounds a lot better than it is. Monetary donations need to be carefully considered and calculated to have the greatest possible impact.
  20. Fresh food and clean water are luxuries that should not be taken for granted.
  21. Giving ought not require, anticipate, or expect a response. Giving is one action and receiving is another.
  22. A willingness to experience discomfort or stress provides great opportunities to learn from a wide range of new experiences.
  23. Much that is considered “wrong” should be questioned and examined. People will get upset when you start to do that. Let them.
  24. Don’t ask unless you’re willing to hear the answer.
  25. It’s okay not to know, but it’s not okay to plead ignorance as an excuse.
  26. Moving to a new place is an opportunity to be the most current version of you.
  27. Beauty can be found in people, in places, and in actions. It cannot be taken for granted and must be protected.
  28. Peace cannot just be a dream; it must be lived every single day.
  29. Changing your mind in the face of new evidence and understanding shows wisdom and strength of character.

I’ve considered making similar lists in the past, lists of what I know to be true, but I’ve never felt like I know very much at all. That’s not inaccurate here, except that I’ve learned to articulate what makes sense to me in the present moment and I’m comfortable knowing it will change. I’ve become willing to say it out loud and let others guide me to deepen and sharpen what I think I know. There’s so much freedom to learn once you can set aside being wrong, or making mistakes, or digging in your heels. That’s what I’m looking forward to this year, and what I wish for all of you: Take the opportunity to learn.

Learn and do something good with what you know.

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