All posts by Rebecca Michelle

Educator, traveler, reader, blogger. Loves learning, black coffee, and friendly people.

One of Those Evenings

Sometimes,

when it’s evening here and morning in the US,

when the gang at home is getting ready for work,

when I can’t find anything free to watch online,

those are the times I most miss home.

At the moment, I don’t feel like reading, I can’t get any TV episodes to load, and I’ve just been messaging a friend from college about her wedding this summer. At the moment the thought running through my mind is, “What the heck am I doing with my life?” (Small potatoes, I know. Yes, I’ve heard the news about California. Yes, I talked about it with my very concerned and frustrated students today.)

But in the spirit of honesty, I wanted to share that life overseas isn’t always temples, beaches, beautiful places, and tasty food. Sometimes, it’s really hard to be away. I’m not homesick, I’m just alone with my thoughts. There is a difference.

I begin to question my choices when I feel sort of blue like this. My life would be in totally different place if I were back in the US. It would be in a totally different place if my boyfriend were here. (Yes, I am insecure watching friends’ relationships move forward and mine remain 9,534 miles out of reach. Yes, I feel like I’m getting old.) There’s a void, a feeling of emptiness that rises every now and again; it’s a feeling I really don’t like.

So I’m going to stop talking about it. Instead, now that I’ve fulfilled my promise to myself to be an honest blogger, I’ll make myself a warm beverage, return to my book, and take comfort in knowing that I’ll feel better in the morning.

Travel Guide: Krabi

This trip was different than many others that I’ve taken, for several reasons. Firstly, it took place over Thanksgiving weekend, so it was a three-night adventure instead of a more typical weekend jaunt. Secondly, and more importantly, I met up with my friend Lucas (with whom I also explored Hong Kong back in March) and his friend from college, Mel, for the last hurrah of the backpacking trip they were making through Thailand. Finally, this was a beach vacation with no purpose other than playing at the beach. It has been a very long time since I’ve had one of those vacations, and I have all the sunburns to prove it!

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Random building that I just loved

Lucas, Mel, and I chose to stay in Krabi Town so that we’d have quick access to an airport as well as a good jump-off point for a variety of water-related activities. We stayed at Pak-Up Hostel, met a ton of really cool people, and thoroughly enjoyed the experience.

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The bar at our hostel where we spent each evening

On our first night in Krabi, we walked through the night market, which contained the usual number of food stalls and stands selling other random items. My favorite, however, was a mobile library!

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On Friday, we booked a kayaking tour of mangrove forests and sea caves, which was really neat. It took a bit longer to get to the kayak site than we’d hoped, but we couldn’t have kayaked in this area on our own. Unfortunately, most of my cave photos didn’t come out, but this is what we saw on our adventure:

It was pouring when we got back to Krabi, but tropical storms usually clear in a couple hours. This was no exception, and we took advantage of the blue skies to head to Railay Beach, known for rock climbing. As it had just rained, we didn’t see any climbers out and about, but we did see a truly stunning place.

Our water taxi ride to Railay gave us these views . . .

. . . and our time on Railay Beach left me in complete awe:

 

Despite getting caught in another torrential, terrifying storm on our water taxi back to Krabi, we headed to Aonang Beach the next morning to hire a longtail boat to take us island hopping.

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Interior of our boat
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Exterior of our boat, complete with captain

 

It took about an hour to get to the Hong Islands, and we stopped in three places to just enjoy our time on the beach. Our favorite by far was Hong Lagoon, our last stop. Lucas and Mel dove gracefully off the boat; I belly flopped painfully a couple times and then opted just to jump.

We could have visited a fourth island, but hunger got the better of us, so we chose to head back to Aonang to eat. We spent about an hour relaxing in some rented beach chairs before making our way back to Pak-Up for a much-needed shower.

This weekend in Krabi was absolutely amazing. The ocean is my happy place and I haven’t been to the ocean in a very long time. Maybe it was the 10-bed dorm room in the hostel, maybe it was meeting up with friends, or maybe it was my makeup case remaining untouched for the entirety of the trip, but I have never felt as free as I did over the past few days. That feeling was entirely unexpected, but I’m glad for it. Sunburn and all, I’d do it again in heartbeat.

 

 

Forward

On the phone this morning, my mum pointed out that I haven’t blogged in a while. I haven’t written in my journal as often as usual, either. I started thinking about why that might be, and I feel that nothing I have to say is important compared to all of the hate the world is experiencing. My grade 10 students write up current events reports every two weeks, and some of them have already come in.

As the world is aware, it has not been a good two weeks.

My students are genuinely concerned, not just about Paris but also about Nigeria, Lebanon, ISIS, and the debate over refugees in the US. They’re concerned about potential evacuation drills, and they’re concerned about why there’s been so much violence in the world lately. One of them told me, “I wanted to find a current event that’s not about war. But I can’t.”

As I listen to student concerns, look over news articles in class, validate fears, and explain what/who/why ISIS is, I have also come to terms with my own unease. I realized this while journaling just a few minutes ago, and I thought it would be a good time for a post.

What frustrates me, and always has, is hate. Hate is not something I understand, not when it’s directed at a specific group of people (and I mean people, not monsters like ISIS, Boko Haram, or the Nazis). I understand fear, though I don’t always agree with it. However, I don’t understand the underlying racism, the hate, that accompanies fear. How is it that we don’t know better? Where did we, as educators, go wrong? Where did we, as people, as humans, go wrong? I’d expect that if asked, everyone in the people category (again, excluding monsters and their affiliates) would claim to want peace.

But we know that wanting peace isn’t enough. Peace doesn’t happen overnight. Peace needs time. It needs to be built. It needs to be strong so that it lasts.

As a student and a teacher of history, I know that peace is fragile. Peacebuilding itself is fragile. Peace is scary for some, I think, because it means letting go. It means admitting fallacy. It means apologizing when you’re in the wrong, when you’ve hurt others. It means compromise.

The way I see it, peace is the only way forward. And if we can’t build peace as a world right now for whatever reason (and I do understand the obstacles) maybe we can start by building peace within and among ourselves. We do that with children. We say things like, “Two wrongs don’t make a right!” (And we smile indulgently when cheeky kids respond with, “But two negatives make a positive!”) We tell children that “hands are not for hitting” and that it’s important to be nice to our friends. Sharing is caring, right? We teach children that everyone is unique and we teach the acceptance of difference. We teach about different cultures, different customs, and the importance of the Golden Rule. We teach friendship and respect and fairness and trustworthiness. We teach about taking risks and about trying again. We teach about perspectives and beliefs and opinions. We teach about hope for the future.

We teach children how to stop, listen, reflect, apologize, shake hands, and move forward. We teach children how to live.

As an educator, I am not in a position to negotiate world peace, and I do not envy those who are. But I do believe that it the responsibility of every person to create a better world. I became a teacher because I firmly believe that every person can play a role in doing so. In my classroom, we build peace. We communicate. We debate. We reflect. We listen and respond to one another as people, regardless of our differences. We highlight those differences to understand them, and we ask questions when we are uncertain. In my classroom, my students are safe. They are learning how to create a peaceful environment, and what it means to be a member of a community.

It is those lessons that I believe the world needs. Bombs aren’t going to stop us from hurting.

Peace, even in the smallest of ways, is our way forward.