Category Archives: On My Mind

On My Mind

You’ve Got a Friend in Me

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As I’ve gotten older and moved around, I’ve come to truly understand the value of friendship. There are a lot of people I am lucky enough to call friends, but significantly fewer I feel connected to without ever having to explain why and regardless of distance or the passage of time. One of those friends came to visit me this weekend after traveling for work, which he does several times a year. Our first trip together was to visit a friend in St. Louis, Missouri a few summers ago and we’ve since met up in Hong Kong and Krabi following his other work trips. It was wonderful to show him around Singapore and introduce him to my people here. My American world and overseas world are very different places and I am so glad they collided this weekend.

Lucas and I have been friends since the beginning of our freshman year of high school. We were 14 when we met and remained in the same group of friends throughout our high school years. We ended up going to the same university, which was large enough that we never would have crossed paths had we not already known each other. He came to my college graduation (two years before his because of our programs) and Lucas’s college graduation is the only one I have ever attended besides my own. We have had twelve years of history together and countless experiences. Lucas has shaken me back down to Earth on more than one occasion, encouraged me to evaluate and reevalute my choices, and unequivocally supported the decisions I’ve made. I don’t want to speak for him, but I believe I’ve acted in kind. Suffice to say we’ve learned, grown, changed, and are always looking forward to the next adventure. Here’s to you, friend!

I don’t have the words to express my appreciation for the people in my life who I can count on to be honest with me in any and all circumstances. These are the people who I am the most open with, the people I have the best conversations with, and the people who I trust with anything and everything. Reciprocity, mutuality, and genuine caring are the essential ingredients in these relationships. It’s a balance between give-and-take, but I see the willingness to give as more important. I’ve learned that I can’t expect others to be open with me if I’m afraid to be vulnerable with them.

A few months ago, I read Daring Greatly by Brené Brown and the following line has remained with me:

Vulnerability is the last thing I want you to see in me, but the first thing I look for in you.

Looking back on past friendships and relationships, the more truth I find in that statement. We have to allow ourselves to be seen, not just looked at. We have to be willing to be heard, not just listened to. Being vulnerable requires communication and dialogue on our part and not only on the part of the other. It’s hard. It can hurt. Often, it does.

But it is only once we’re ready for openness, honesty, and trust that we are able to see and hear others the way they deserve to be seen and heard.

After saying goodbye to Lucas and walking into work today, the lyrics of an old Barenaked Ladies song popped into my head for the first time in years. They’re true, too, for anyone I know and anyone I will know.

And if you call, I will answer
And if you fall, I’ll pick you up
And if you court this disaster
I’ll point you home.

-“Call and Answer”, The Barenaked Ladies

We all want to be seen. I am so thankful for the people in my life who see me, and for those who let me see them.

For better or for worse, you’ve got a friend in me.

On My Mind

New Name

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I’ve been thinking about changing the URL for this blog for a long time and I finally did it! You can now find my blog at byrebeccamichelle.wordpress.com. If you’d like to keep following my photos, travels, and thoughts on education (and I sincerely hope you do!) please, please, please update to this new address in your reader and/or in your follow settings. I don’t want to lose you! After all, what is this blog without you?

Many thanks for following! Please let me know if you have any trouble at all.

As always, thanks for reading.

On My Mind

Yom HaShoah

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Yom HaShoah is Israel’s commemoration of the Holocaust. Shoah, the Hebrew word to describe the Holocaust, literally means “catastrophe.” Most Jewish communities follow suit and also hold ceremonies of remembrance on the 27th of Nissan. The Jewish calendar (and Muslim calendar!) is a lunar calendar so the Gregorian date changes each year. According to the Gregorian calendar, a new day begins at midnight. On the Jewish calendar, however, a new day begins at sundown. In 2016, Yom HaShoah began at sundown on May 4 and will end at sundown on May 5.

This has always been a day that leads me to think about the state of the present world. Today’s world is violent, full of anger and fear and hate, and in desperate need of peace. There are surely a million and one reasons why we are where we are, but I prefer to think about moving forward. Dwelling on the past has brought us our present. I have bigger dreams for the future.

Whenever I’ve taught about the Holocaust, I’ve focused heavily on the roles of bystanders and upstanders (rescuers). Writer Cynthia Ozick highlights the issue of indifference, which I address with my students.

“Indifference is not so much a gesture of looking away – of choosing to be passive – as it is an active disinclination to feel. Indifference shuts down the humane, and does it deliberately, with all the strength deliberateness demands. Indifference is as determined – and as forcefully muscular – as any blow.”

We need to care. We need to care about everyone in the world simply because they are human. We all are human.

I don’t write poetry anymore, but I wrote a poem last night.

I Remember

Today is Yom HaShoah.
Holocaust Remembrance Day.

We must remember because if we do not
who will?

On this day when we choose to remember
let us not talk
of numbers
but instead commemorate
lives.

I remember the people
lost
the dreams
whispered
the hope
undeterred.

I remember the people with stories
songs
books
picture frames.

I remember the people who
helped
hid
harbored.

I remember
Armenia
Bosnia
Cambodia
Darfur
Rwanda.

I remember pain
and anguish.
I remember hate
and horror.

I remember the tears.
I remember the countless trails of tears.

I remember the lives
while I mourn the deaths.
I honor the lives
while I lay the victims to rest.

I remember the lives they cherished.
I remember their fight to preserve
those lives.

Let us talk not only of the past
but of the hope for the future.
Let us not talk of wishes
but let us take action.

For on this day
on every day
it is not enough to remember.

We’ve promised never again
and we’ve remembered
again
and again
and again.

So let us not only talk of the past.
Let us embrace, build, demand
peace
for the future.

There is clearly work to be done.