Tag Archives: Family

Expecting – Part I

You were the size of a sesame seed when your papa and I first learned about you. We were in the Alps for some climbing and mountaineering, and all I could think about was you.

You were the size of a blueberry when we first saw your heart beating. And how fast! We were in awe.

You were the size of a strawberry when it was time for new bras. Finally, an easily managed symptom of my body shaping itself to house you.

You were the size of a fig when I saw your hands wave and feet kick. You turned around and around.

Your papa and I held hands in the waiting room when you were nearly the size of a lemon. Then, the doctor showed us your symmetrical brain, four-chambered heart, 10 fingers, 10 toes. Your feet crossed at the ankles and your hands covered your face. Through tears, we watched you move.

You were almost the size of an apple when it was time for maternity pants. I marvelled at my body’s ability to make space for you.

You were the size of a cucumber when my skin met skin in places that had never touched before. I grew out of my climbing harness and started wearing one designed for my changing body, announcing to everyone who didn’t already know that you were on the way.

When you were the size of a mango, your papa felt you move for the first time. We lay in the dark as I guided his hand, both of us basking in the astonishment of you.

Halfway through the journey of becoming, you were the size of a grapefruit. Your papa and I took some time away to be together, smiling all the while at you.

Madeira, Portugal – October 2025

Birthday Wishes

Since moving abroad, I’ve had the feeling that my birthday lasts three days. People have sent me birthday wishes a day early or late depending on the time zone I’m in or they’re in, and sometimes it takes me half a day to check my phone, regardless of time zone. I love the feeling of being hugged the world over, and I love the ease of being in touch with people who I have met in different corners of the sky.

This year, my birthday fell on a Monday, my first day back at school after two and a half weeks off. I expected to feel a bit let down by it, but I surprised myself. I am lucky enough to enjoy going to work and I let myself feel pleased by the birthday wishes coming from students and teachers alike. This seemed better than the embarrassment that I’ve conjured up in the past. Maybe it also helped I finally look old enough to avoid, with the notable exception of my grade 7 students, the question of exactly that. They quickly assured me that I don’t look that old, leaving me both flattered and inwardly groaning.

My in-laws surprised me by stopping by with flowers and they stayed for the pizza that my partner and I made from scratch. He has perfected the dough recipe, and it was our best pizza yet. I requested a candle and made a wish, marvelling that this tradition spans oceans. Having left my own family mere days before, it was not just the wine that left me feeling warm as we sat together at the table.

For the coming weekend, we’ve planned a small party to celebrate, inviting more people than we think our apartment can hold. I’m honoured that so many friends can be with us and counting on a bit of birthday magic.

On Monday, I made the same wish upon a candle that I make every time I’m granted a wish, be it on a star or an escaped eyelash. And now my wish for you: May it be a joyful, healthy, peaceful 2025 for you and yours.

Giving Thanks

Two years ago, my partner and I went to an American Thanksgiving celebration in Munich hosted by friends from Singapore. Shortly thereafter, memories of turkey with cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie still on our minds, we decided to make Thanksgiving a feature of our intercultural life together.

Without thinking much of it a year ago, I suggested to my parents that they spend the following Thanksgiving in Germany. It had been strange, they said, celebrating with their friends and their friends’ children with none of their own children around. “So come to us,” I said, and they booked flights. “We’re hosting Thanksgiving,” I told my partner after one phone conversation not too many months ago. It took us both a little by surprise.

In the train station just moments after my parents arrived on Friday night, my partner turned to me: “I hope the turkey’s not frozen.” As a group, we agreed that it wasn’t and that we’d adjust if it was. In my dreams, I was up to my eyeballs in vegetables while my partner was out trying to catch the turkey, which had inexplicably morphed from being frozen to being alive. With our oven schedule dictating our Saturday morning alarm, we woke to the first blue sky seen in a week. A good omen if there ever was one.

Although we’d one day love a Thanksgiving with thirty-odd people, this year’s gathering was small. Along with my parents who spent the day preparing with us, doing the normal daily life things that people who live far apart don’t do together, we hosted my partner’s parents and a couple of friends who knew of Thanksgiving from American television and film. It was a first Thanksgiving to host, a first Thanksgiving to attend, a first Thanksgiving celebrated in Germany. Firsts for us all.

In the living room of our one-bedroom apartment, we rearranged the furniture to seat everyone around the coffee table. In the kitchen, we laid a table of turkey and cranberry sauce (the essential ingredient of which my parents brought from the US), two kinds of gravy, mashed potatoes, roasted vegetables, lemony rice, green beans, and baguettes topped with squash and ricotta cheese. Later came pecan squares, pumpkin pie, real whipped cream, and ice cream. We served beer, wine, and Glühwein (mulled wine), and rounded out the evening with a round of our favourite schnapps.

Somewhere between turkey and dessert, my mum suggested sharing what we’re grateful for. This is something my family has always done, and I told the group about the lists we have written in the past and tucked into the purple Thanksgiving folder that comes out once a year. With some wet eyes (or water in the beard, as the German expression goes) and pauses for translation into one language or the other, we went around the table and shared a little of what was in our hearts.

By the time the kitchen was clean in the wee hours of the morning, my throat was sore from talking and my face from smiling. Had gravity not been pulling me firmly to the ground, I would have soared. To look around a room and feel so much love, to hear the same well wishes and hopes spoken in different languages, and to feel so much at home among all of it is a moment for which I am thankful.

Bad Herrenalb, Germany – February 2023