Tag Archives: Reflection

On My Mind

Musings While Shoveling Snow

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I’ve been thinking a lot lately about time. There are only a few months until I move for my new job and there are so many things I want to do before I leave! Five months is definitely not enough time to do all of them, but I’ll be back. This is home, after all.

There’s also a lot that I’m going to miss when I’m gone. I don’t really know what I’m walking into all the way around the world (honestly, why couldn’t I just get a job halfway around the world?) but I do know that it’s nothing like what I have here. It’s probably easier if I make a list of what I won’t miss:

Things I Will Not Miss When I Move
-Shoveling snow (the act of which led me to brainstorm and write this post)
-Bitter cold winds
-Weather that goes from beautiful (yesterday) to trapped inside because of a blizzard (today)

I honestly think I’m going to miss everything else. Someone remind me, why am I going?

To teach at an international school. Right. Got it.

Things I Will Miss When I Move
Anything not on the first list including, but not limited to, the following:
-My books
-Having a roommate (Shay, Mary, Emilia, it’s been pretty great)
-Shabbat dinners with my family
-My family
-Living in a 1920s house with stained glass windows (at which I am currently staring), a window seat (on which I am currently sitting), and a front porch (on which I wish I were sitting)
-All four seasons (though not the windy, shoveling parts)
-Wegmans
-Being anywhere in town in 20 minutes or less
-The Genesee River and Erie Canal
-My current jobs
-Friends who are close by
-Friends who are not close by but will be even farther away once I move
-Cute winter clothes and boots

I could go on, but I think you get the point. I don’t know yet what I’m going to have or have access to abroad, so I guess I shouldn’t pontificate about what I’ll miss; for all I know, there are more similarities than differences.

Something tells me I’m wrong about that. But I also know that I’m going on an adventure. No one says I have to stay forever. I’ll be gone two years and four months, and then I’ll either come home or go somewhere else. I’m 24 years old, my family is grudgingly supportive, and my boyfriend is actively job seeking. A friend mentioned that stars don’t align by accident.

I really hope she’s right.

On My Mind

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend.

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If you’ve never heard the old (relatively speaking) song “How to Save a Life” by The Fray, go ahead and listen.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to grow up, about how friends go in and out as people change. Is it okay to drift away from people who have known us since way back when? Is it okay to find people who understand us better than those friends ever could? I tell myself, “Of course that’s okay. That’s how we live. That’s how we grow.”

But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

I trace my life back through the friends I’ve had and friends I have, friends who were once mere acquaintances, and acquaintances who I once called friends. I used to make friends on my own, but recently I’ve come to rely much more on other people, and the friends that they bring into my circles. My friendship circles are smaller, but also larger; diverse, but also eerily similar. I wonder how that happens.

In some senses, I know when it’s time to let someone go and I know when it’s time to let someone in. (Admittedly, however, my favorite people are the ones with whom I’ve grown closer naturally; those are the friendships that leave us laughing about how we possibly got here.) What is hard for me, however, is watching friends drift away. Sometimes, it’s a mutual drift in which all parties recognize a natural parting of ways, remain in touch, and catch up on occasion. Other times, it’s a one-sided drift in which one party holds on frantically, afraid of what’s going to happen if he or she lets go.

A little over a year ago, a very dear friend and I stopped speaking. I’m not sure when it happened, how, or why, but I do know that I tried to pull her back. And I do know that she resisted. I was angry for a while, then sad. I was disappointed, I was hurt. I’m still sad because I loved her like a sister, but I’m not angry. People grow, people change, and that’s just the way the cookie crumbles. If she ever needs anything, I’m here for her. In a crisis, I’m sure she’d be there for me. But rather than dwell on that, I’ve put my energies into new groups, new friendships. People grow, people change…. Right?

Nevertheless, it’s hard to say goodbye to someone who knew me way back when.

“Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness. And I would have stayed up with you all night had I known how to save a life.” – “How to Save a Life”, The Fray

On My Mind

The Proof is in the Pudding, or How a Google Search Proves Just About Anything

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I heard a radio interview this morning in which an insurance agent said that there can be an increased risk of fire during the month of December (which, newsflash, hasn’t started yet) from “candles around Christmas trees or holiday trees.”

There is no such thing as a holiday tree.

Let me show you. I performed a Google image search on three phrases:

Exhibit A: Christmas Tree

christmas tree

Exhibit B: Holiday Tree

holiday tree

Google, naturally, figured out what I was doing and helpfully offered Exhibit C: Holiday Tree vs. Christmas Tree

holiday tree vs christmas tree

I understand that people are trying to be politically correct, but talking about “holiday trees” means that we don’t understand a) our own religious traditions, b) that difference is important, or c) that not everyone needs to celebrate Christmas to be happy. People who celebrate Christmas put up Christmas trees. People who don’t celebrate Christmas don’t. It’s as simple as that.

Please, by all means, wish me a “Merry Christmas” in a store. That’s fine. You’re simply saying, “I wish you joy, I’m looking forward to my holiday, and I hope you feel the same.” Feel more comfortable with “Happy Holidays”? That’s fine, too. But please don’t think you’re being considerate by ignoring all of my religious traditions and assuming they must be the same as yours, or that I want them to be.

Political correctness has a time and place, but it should not lump everyone and everything together. Assuming everyone has the same traditions devalues difference. Difference is what made our world, and we need to acknowledge and respect it.