Category Archives: New York

New York

One by One

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This has been a week of a lot of change. Change is always hard, whether it goes as planned or not. This has been a week of new situations, new decisions, and new choices. None of this is easy. New things are rarely easy.

But things get better.

I’m beginning to like New York, which has surprised me. I didn’t know if I would. New York might be big, loud, and fast, but it also has a lot of beauty to offer. I wasn’t expecting that. For example:

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Cathedral of Saint John the Divine

The unexpected has been a welcome distraction. So has this cat, who I met when helping a friend move into her new apartment:

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Moments of laughter have been a relief.

As hard as I’m trying to put one foot in front of the other, I have fallen more than once. It’s times like this that leave me overwhelmed with gratitude for friends all over the world. This week has reminded me that it’s okay to hurt, cry, and feel. It’s okay to be afraid and to reach out to those who love me.

I am not in this alone. This I know.

There have been moments that have taken my breath away in both positive and negative ways. Here was a good moment and I wasn’t the only one taking pictures:

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View of the Chrysler Building from 15th Street

Change is a process. It’s about taking life one step at a time and one day at a time. It’s about balancing each task as it arises so as not to be overwhelmed by the big picture.

This journey is not about looking backwards. It’s about acknowledging the past for what it is and moving forwards to be better each day. It’s about learning from the past and growing better for the future. I have a lot of figuring out to do, which is scary. I’m grateful to those who have promised to hold my hand along the way.

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Inspirational signs line 110th Street on the Upper West Side

I’m telling myself that it’s okay to move slowly in the fastest place I’ve ever been. It’s okay to be uncertain. Today was one day and tomorrow will be another. Days will pass. Change will get easier.

This I know.

 

 

New York

Beginning Again

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It has been quite the week!

On Monday, Mitch and I drove a U-Haul the six hours from Rochester to Manhattan. More accurately, whole truth be told, Mitch drove while I fiddled with the radio dial. Since Monday night, I’ve been heavily involved with cleaning, unpacking, and organizing our Upper East Side apartment. I’ve explored a bit, ventured to my new school (the commute is about 1.5 hours each way and involves subway, train, and taxi so it’s really quite the trek), gotten lost on multiple morning runs in Central Park, and tried to figure out the grocery store thing.

The stereotypes about New York City are true – it’s big and loud and fast. It’s also efficient, exciting, and the most diverse place I’ve ever been. I have heard so many languages that I can’t place, passed dozens of what would be considered niche restaurants anywhere but here, stumbled upon a pop-up vintage store, and wandered through a university campus. I’ve watched people of all walks of life go about all sorts of daily business. For the first time, I completely understand what drew the Humans of New York guy into asking for stories!

In perfect honesty, I’m glad that I’m not navigating this city on my own. I’m a tad embarrassed to be feeling somewhat intimidated, but I am. There’s a lot that I don’t know and most of it hadn’t even occurred to me. For example:

  • There are keys to the garbage and recycling receptacles in front of our building.
  • You have to tie your cardboard with string before you can put it on the curb.
  • There are more ride services in this country than just Uber and Lyft.
  • Grocery stores have elevators and escalators.
  • Everyone is constantly in a rush and annoyed when you aren’t.
  • Dog walking is a real job.

I’ve taken to wearing sunglasses even when I don’t need them just to hide what I’m sure is a constant deer-in-the-headlights look.

And then I saw a bit of graffiti when I was walking between the East Village and Soho. (Note to self: Learn the neighborhoods to avoid referencing maps while blogging.)

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I stopped for a picture because this was my first reminder that people are what make up New York. There’s heart here that might be hidden in the hustle and bustle and flurry of activity, but it’s here. People move fast to make a decent living in a world that moves fast and has come to demand that speed. (I don’t necessarily agree with a life or a world like that, but that’s a post for another time.)

New York is just a city. It’s a city of people who want what people everywhere want. People want to be happy, healthy, and loved no matter where they are. No matter who they are.

As big as it is, as overwhelming as it might feel, New York is just a home for about 8.5 million people. And people are just people, wherever you go.

 

New York, On My Mind

Just a Note

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I went to college in Syracuse, NY and I’m back now for my roommate’s wedding. I couldn’t be happier to be here or to celebrate such a genuinely kind person and her equally kind tomorrow-to-be husband. In revisiting some old haunts, I headed to Strong Hearts Café, which I was delighted to see had not changed a bit in five year. It’s vegan, provides free coffee refills, and has a list of milkshakes named after radical, influential, and often forgotten people (my personal favorite names include Tiananmen Square Guy, The Haudenosaunee, The White Rose, Sacco & Vanzetti, Howard Zinn, and Paul Rusesabagina). What’s not to love? Actually I can answer that: the lack of cheese.

A girl in her late teens or early twenties came in with a woman I assume was her mother and sat at the table next to me. The girl remained at their table while the mother went to the counter to order. Alone, the girl started to cry. She regained composure and then broke into new tears several times while they waited for a strawberry waffle.

My heart went out to her while I sat at my table and tried to concentrate on my book. I wanted to reach over and tell her that it would all be okay. I wanted to ask if she needed a hug. I wanted to help her stop hurting.

So I wrote her a note on a napkin.

The girl and her mother asked for a takeaway box and left while I was writing, so I never dropped it on their table. Maybe had I started writing earlier, instead of waiting to see if the waffle would help her feel better, I could have been of comfort in some way. Instead, I’ll leave the note here in case she reads this blog. Stranger things have happened, right?

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I know life can sometimes be very hard. I’m sorry for whatever you’re going through. I’m sorry you’re hurting.

But I also know that this, too, shall pass. Every day will be easier than the last.

You are not alone. The people in your life are here for you. Everyone hurts sometimes – we are all here for you.

Fall down seven times, stand up eight.

You can do it.

As I’ve been typing this, Jakob Dylan’s “Everybody’s Hurting” is playing in my head. (Let the record show that there are often songs playing in my head.) It’s a little church-y but I really love this line: My sweetheart we’ve got to learn to live with these ghosts/They can’t leave and we can’t go.

This is the message I want to send to everyone who is hurting, for whatever reason. This is for anyone who needs a friendly face or a shoulder to cry on. I am here for you. If we have yet to meet or if I’ve known you for a long time, I am here for you. Whatever your ghosts, I am here for you. We are all humans, and therefore I am here for you. No questions asked.