Category Archives: On My Mind

Dad and Daughter Do Asia

Today’s the day!

Couldn’t be more excited. I think I’ve been counting down to today since I landed in Singapore in July. Today’s the day my dad arrives in Singapore!

When I was in Malaysia and really struggling over whether or not to take this job in Singapore, my dad made me a deal. He knew I wanted to be in Singapore and he knew I was afraid of committing to it because I didn’t want another experience like the one I had in Malaysia. So, he promised me that if I ended up in Singapore for this school year, he’d come visit. I think he made that promise expecting I’d stay in the US once I went back for the summer, but the joke’s on him!

Dad drove to Toronto Tuesday night EST, got on a Hong Kong-bound flight at 2am EST on Wednesday, landed in Hong Kong a little before 5am local time today (Thursday), got on a flight to Singapore at 8am local time, and should be arriving within the hour. Long trip, and I am so glad that he decided to come.

Tomorrow is my last day of school before a week-long, much-needed October break. We’re flying to Bangkok, Thailand tomorrow night; to Hanoi, Vietnam Monday morning; to Da Nang, Vietnam Thursday afternoon and then driving to Hoi An where we’ll be staying; and then back to Singapore on Sunday. Dad will be in Singapore until Tuesday morning, and then he’ll fly back to Hong Kong for a few days there before heading home on Friday.

According to Google, Dad is due to land at Changi Airport in 42 minutes.

Yes, I’m counting.


Update: Want to learn more about our trip? Here are my posts for our time in Bangkok, Hanoi, and Hoi An. Happy travels!

Let’s Talk About Sex

As all men, women, and increasingly younger groups children are fully aware, we live in a society obsessed with sex. We live in a culture that make oodles of money developing products that convince people they’ll look, feel, and even be sexier just though wearing that dress, rolling up the sleeves on that shirt, eating that low-everything meal, and smelling like that new product. As any woman who has recently walked through the blindingly pink “feminine hygiene supplies” section of any supermarket or pharmacy knows, there’s always something new to try to get us whatever we’ve been missing. (Increasingly, we’re told that we’re missing more and more, but that’s a topic for another blog post.)

Today I stumbled across a feminine hygiene product I certainly will not be buying: green tea scented pantiliners.

Enough said, but I’ll say more.

Like many women, I wear a pantiliner every day. I’ve done this for so long that I can’t remember not doing it. Like most people, I also wear deodorant every day. Same story regarding length of time, though I do remember that I was really upset the night my mum told me I smelled.

I have never, however, worn anything scented. I’m really sensitive to smells and the concept of having armpits that smell like flowers or ocean breezes just doesn’t make sense to me. If the idea is to not smell, the logical thing is to buy unscented deodorant. I know I’m in the minority here, especially with women. However, I can’t say I’ve ever walked by a woman and thought, “Mmm ocean breeze.” (Alternatively, when I walk by a man wearing a certain brand of deodorant favored by high school athletes I generally think, “Ew Axe,” which I’m sure is not what that hopeful teen or immature 20-something is going for.) When you’re not wearing deodorant, though, I notice.

When choosing pantiliners, I have one rule. They need to be unscented. For several reasons:

Firstly, chemicals. I don’t need any chemicals down there, thank you very much. There’s enough to worry about without the itchy feeling that I get from even thinking about chemicals in that particular area.

Secondly, the point is to be dry. The point is not to smell and also to not smell, which are different things if you think about it closely.

Thirdly, we all know that scent matters. Back in high school, I wore a vanilla body spray from Bath and Body Works (as did about ten million other girls, I’d imagine) and the boy used to like to kiss me on the wrist because that’s one of the places where I put it. You can do that in public without people staring. If a different scented region is the spot you like to kiss, there are far fewer opportunities to do so.

But hey, if green tea scented private areas make you feel beautiful, go for it. In the end, that’s what matters.

Lightbulbs (and the stark reality of independence)

I’m speaking quite literally here. Two of the lightbulbs in my rather fancy light fixture in the living room have burnt out and I need help replacing them. I am 5 feet and one and a half inches tall. Standing on my coffee table puts me nowhere near the light. It would probably behoove me to buy a step ladder, but that would involve buying a step ladder. Considering I know my days in this apartment are numbered, I’m not keen on spending any more money than I have to in order to live comfortably.

That being said, trying to read when two of five lightbulbs in the only light fixture anywhere near the couch have burnt out is not exactly comfortable. I have to admit, I’m relying on the fact that my dad is coming to visit in just over two weeks. If he weren’t . . . I’d probably just have a few tall friends over and see what they could accomplish while standing on the coffee table.

In all seriousness, though, I like to think of myself as an independent woman. In most ways, I am. I could easily fix this myself. However, I’m making the conscious decision not to.

And I’m not sure why.

The first lightbulb burnt out about two weeks ago, and that’s when I first thought, “Well, at least Dad’s coming.”

I think that in some ways, we all like to be helped and, conversely, to be needed. The roles that we are accustomed to playing are comfortable for us and help preserve the status quo or social norms govern our lives. There’s all sorts of research on sibling relationships and birth order to suggest that.

In my DP Psych class, we’ve been talking about situational and dispositional factors that influence behavior. In this particular case, dispositional factors are influencing my decision to squint at my book for the next two and some weeks before my dad arrives and changes my lightbulbs. It’s been a while since I’ve let someone take care of me; it’s been a while since I’ve let myself simply be someone’s child.

Even though I chose to live halfway around the world and I live alone, I miss that.


Update: Upon further reflection, I decided that my behavior described above is both ridiculous and unacceptable. Today after school I popped into a Chinese supermarket (though really the only thing “super” about it is its wine prices) and bought two new lightbulbs. I set a very sturdy kitchen chair on top of the coffee table, which is so heavy I can’t even move it, and managed to replace the lightbulbs. Hooray for independence!