Tag Archives: Marriage

For a Friend

For as long as I can remember, I’ve had a small plaque on my bedroom wall that reads, “The way to the house of a friend is never long.” This Danish proverb seemed particularly salient today when I hung it in its usual place by the light switch.

I’ve been thinking about friends all day.

One of my very close Rochester friends got married yesterday and I wasn’t there. She’s one of very few people who regularly checks in on my life, finds out when I’ll be in town, and saves time for me when I am. Upon getting engaged, she called to ask me to be in her wedding. She asked first if I knew where I’d be living come summer. I didn’t, but told her I’d let her know as soon as I did.

As happy as I am to be back in Singapore, I am really sad to have missed standing besides my friend at her wedding. All of my home friends flew in from all parts of the country to celebrate. I was sad to miss them, too, but the fact that they were all there speaks volumes about the kind of person our friend is. She sent me a message around 3am Eastern Standard Time that put a huge smile on my face – she wanted to share a couple photos, tell me about the day, and let me know that she missed me but was glad that I was off doing my “thing”.

I was so touched.

Friendship is often a topic of conversation among my friends overseas because it’s always interesting to see who stays with you and who drifts away. I’m so glad to have friends from various points in my life who have stayed with me despite time differences, busy schedules, and personal challenges. I’m glad to have people I know I can call and rely on from wherever I am and for whatever reason. I hope I am as good to you as you are to me.

Even if I’m not there, know that I’m thinking about you and sending good thoughts your way. Wishing you joy, laughter, and love, now and always.

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born. – Anaïs Nin

Wedding Bells

A very old friend, let’s call her Jill, recently announced her engagement to her boyfriend, let’s call him Jack, of almost three years, which came as no surprise to any of us. We knew they were going to get engaged sooner rather than later, and aside from thinking she’s too young (Jill’s not yet 22) I’m really happy for them. A few of us were sitting out on the porch over Memorial Day laughing about how Jill had picked out her own ring and dropped not-so-subtle hints to Jack. Someone teased Jill, commenting, “One day you’ll be happy you spent $4000 on my ring!” The real Jack smiled and replied, “I’m happy today.”

Well, that just about did it for me. Not like I get a say and not like it matters at all, but if Jack and Jill are getting married, they certainly have my blessing. What I want for all of my friends, and for the people of this world really, is happiness. If happiness for Jill means getting married at 22, who am I to argue?

My girlfriends and I are all in Jill’s bridal party, which honestly did come as a surprise. (Note that I introduced Jill as an old friend.) A couple of us went to try on our dresses yesterday, which are really beautiful; it’s a Christmastime wedding so Jill’s colors are red and gold, meaning us bridesmaids are wearing red floor-length gowns. Jill will wear red shoes to match our dresses, which is a contemporary, sassy touch to the very classic, elegant dress she bought yesterday.

In short, wedding bells are ringing. More and more of my friends have talked of engagement or marriage recently, with some even planning to get engaged in a couple years. (I don’t understand that logic, either.) My boyfriend, let’s call him MJ, and I have been together for five and a half years and when he heard that Jack and Jill were engaged he hugged me and said, “We’re too young, okay?” I had to laugh.

But it’s not about age, really, is it? It’s about wanting to spend every moment with a person, sharing hopes and dreams, supporting one another’s endeavors, keeping an eye on one another, feeling safe together, loving each other. Jack and Jill, here’s to years of health, happiness, and love to you!