Tag Archives: Students

One of Those Evenings

Sometimes,

when it’s evening here and morning in the US,

when the gang at home is getting ready for work,

when I can’t find anything free to watch online,

those are the times I most miss home.

At the moment, I don’t feel like reading, I can’t get any TV episodes to load, and I’ve just been messaging a friend from college about her wedding this summer. At the moment the thought running through my mind is, “What the heck am I doing with my life?” (Small potatoes, I know. Yes, I’ve heard the news about California. Yes, I talked about it with my very concerned and frustrated students today.)

But in the spirit of honesty, I wanted to share that life overseas isn’t always temples, beaches, beautiful places, and tasty food. Sometimes, it’s really hard to be away. I’m not homesick, I’m just alone with my thoughts. There is a difference.

I begin to question my choices when I feel sort of blue like this. My life would be in totally different place if I were back in the US. It would be in a totally different place if my boyfriend were here. (Yes, I am insecure watching friends’ relationships move forward and mine remain 9,534 miles out of reach. Yes, I feel like I’m getting old.) There’s a void, a feeling of emptiness that rises every now and again; it’s a feeling I really don’t like.

So I’m going to stop talking about it. Instead, now that I’ve fulfilled my promise to myself to be an honest blogger, I’ll make myself a warm beverage, return to my book, and take comfort in knowing that I’ll feel better in the morning.

Forward

On the phone this morning, my mum pointed out that I haven’t blogged in a while. I haven’t written in my journal as often as usual, either. I started thinking about why that might be, and I feel that nothing I have to say is important compared to all of the hate the world is experiencing. My grade 10 students write up current events reports every two weeks, and some of them have already come in.

As the world is aware, it has not been a good two weeks.

My students are genuinely concerned, not just about Paris but also about Nigeria, Lebanon, ISIS, and the debate over refugees in the US. They’re concerned about potential evacuation drills, and they’re concerned about why there’s been so much violence in the world lately. One of them told me, “I wanted to find a current event that’s not about war. But I can’t.”

As I listen to student concerns, look over news articles in class, validate fears, and explain what/who/why ISIS is, I have also come to terms with my own unease. I realized this while journaling just a few minutes ago, and I thought it would be a good time for a post.

What frustrates me, and always has, is hate. Hate is not something I understand, not when it’s directed at a specific group of people (and I mean people, not monsters like ISIS, Boko Haram, or the Nazis). I understand fear, though I don’t always agree with it. However, I don’t understand the underlying racism, the hate, that accompanies fear. How is it that we don’t know better? Where did we, as educators, go wrong? Where did we, as people, as humans, go wrong? I’d expect that if asked, everyone in the people category (again, excluding monsters and their affiliates) would claim to want peace.

But we know that wanting peace isn’t enough. Peace doesn’t happen overnight. Peace needs time. It needs to be built. It needs to be strong so that it lasts.

As a student and a teacher of history, I know that peace is fragile. Peacebuilding itself is fragile. Peace is scary for some, I think, because it means letting go. It means admitting fallacy. It means apologizing when you’re in the wrong, when you’ve hurt others. It means compromise.

The way I see it, peace is the only way forward. And if we can’t build peace as a world right now for whatever reason (and I do understand the obstacles) maybe we can start by building peace within and among ourselves. We do that with children. We say things like, “Two wrongs don’t make a right!” (And we smile indulgently when cheeky kids respond with, “But two negatives make a positive!”) We tell children that “hands are not for hitting” and that it’s important to be nice to our friends. Sharing is caring, right? We teach children that everyone is unique and we teach the acceptance of difference. We teach about different cultures, different customs, and the importance of the Golden Rule. We teach friendship and respect and fairness and trustworthiness. We teach about taking risks and about trying again. We teach about perspectives and beliefs and opinions. We teach about hope for the future.

We teach children how to stop, listen, reflect, apologize, shake hands, and move forward. We teach children how to live.

As an educator, I am not in a position to negotiate world peace, and I do not envy those who are. But I do believe that it the responsibility of every person to create a better world. I became a teacher because I firmly believe that every person can play a role in doing so. In my classroom, we build peace. We communicate. We debate. We reflect. We listen and respond to one another as people, regardless of our differences. We highlight those differences to understand them, and we ask questions when we are uncertain. In my classroom, my students are safe. They are learning how to create a peaceful environment, and what it means to be a member of a community.

It is those lessons that I believe the world needs. Bombs aren’t going to stop us from hurting.

Peace, even in the smallest of ways, is our way forward.

Week One

This past week was our first week of school and it was fantastic! I loved meeting the kids, learning about where they’re from (one of my students told me Singapore is his seventh country!), teaching social studies again, getting to know my colleagues better, and starting to feel like I actually have a purpose here.

So far, teaching in Singapore is what I hoped teaching abroad would be when I first moved to Malaysia nearly a year ago. (A lot has happened in a year, eh?) I’m beginning to understand some of the frustrations that returning teachers have with school, and they’re really not a surprise. However, we have books and supplies and materials and technology and a resource budget, so I really can’t complain. Compared to the year I just had, literally anything is better. Furthermore, it’s been so much fun to talk about the relevance of history and the importance of understanding culture in a room full of students from all over the world. In a class of 16, 14 countries were represented. I just can’t get over how darn cool that is, and how exciting it is to hear everything these kids have experienced. They’re so worldly that it’s a little bit scary. And so diverse, from every perspective expect socio-economic; homogeneity there is going to make for some interesting conversations, I suspect.

Equally importantly, I’m feeling very comfortable in Singapore. I think I’ve figured out the least stressful/most productive way to do my grocery shopping, which is a big step toward being a local. It seems more economical to get as much as possible at the very close, very large FairPrice, which is a local supermarket chain, drop everything off at home, and then head to the largest Cold Storage, a grocery store catering to expats of all nationalities. When possible, I’ll pick up my paper goods (toilet paper, tissues, paper towels) at one of the many Chinese shops at the MRT station closest to my apartment; it’s much cheaper that way.

Socially, I’m happy! Of course, I miss Mitch terribly; it’s hard for us to talk on a regular basis because we both start the day early and his has been ending very late. It doesn’t help that I turn my phone off at work, either, so texting during my morning/his evening doesn’t work. Other than the huge element of missing Mitch, though, things are great. Being at such a large school means that I already have multiple social groups with whom to do different things. I’ve learned that meeting at the hawker center closest to school for food and cheap beer is a regular feature of Friday nights, so it’s a lot of fun to see people who I met over orientation but have never seen at school since. Otherwise, I haven’t done a whole lot yet, but it’s been good. Saturday was spent doing some work in a coffee shop with a friend and then having dinner in Little India with a group that she organized – can’t go wrong with garlic naan and aloo gobi!

The real question now, is when will we start to travel?! I’ll bring that up after we get paid. That’s definitely a prerequisite. I’m thinking mid-September might be a good time for a weekend away. Bali, perhaps?

As it’s the beginning of a new school year in a new country and all the students and teachers have returned from the various countries where they all spent their summer break, it should be no surprise that I’m sick. I woke up with a tickle in my throat last Monday that turned into a really terrible cold. I even took sinus medicine! For the first time ever! I felt much better when I woke up on Saturday, and then I got a phone call from Dad and realized that my voice sounded like a squeaky toy. That didn’t stop me from socializing, but waking up this morning with hardly a voice at all did. It was disappointing to turn down kaya toast and pedicures in favor of being a recluse, but it was probably better. At least I didn’t make my lack of voice any worse!

I’m currently drinking (yet another cup of) tea with honey and hoping my voice magically comes back in the morning. I’ll just leave you with a very typical example of a Hindu temple. We passed this one when we were walking in Little India last night:

Little India