Tag Archives: Friends

Travel Guide

Skiing in Utah

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Hi! Sorry for not posting last week. I was on vacation in Utah with my family and wanted to focus on them. I also read four books. And skied. And ate excellent food. It was delightful.

When I was in high school, we used to go out to Park City, UT over February Break to go skiing. I haven’t been out there in years because of college and graduate school, so it was especially nice to be otherwise uncommitted this February Break. My brother is still in high school, my sister is in college in Canada where she has a week off in February rather than a week in March, and my boyfriend took a few days off following the financial world’s holiday on President’s Day. The six of us arrived on a Saturday, left a week later, and enjoyed good snow, great food, and excellent company in between.

I’ve skied on various resorts around Park City before, some of which I like better than others. This year’s adventures took us back to Park City and Deer Valley; I also explored Solitude and Brighton for the first time. The following are some pictures that I took while skiing. I really do love winter . . . but now that I’m home and it’s still cold and snowy, I’m ready for it to end.

Park City Park City at sunset

Park City from about halfway up a mountain Looking down on Park City from about halfway up the mountain

Deer Valley Deer Valley

A very solitary powder day at Solitude A very solitary powder day at Solitude

On My Mind

2.14.278

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Yes, 278. That’s the year St. Valentine was beheaded; he was Christian and Christianity wasn’t legal until Constantine signed the Edict of Milan in 313. As I’m sure you’ve guessed, St. Valentine performed Christian marriage ceremonies and was imprisoned . . . and then Hallmark turned Valentine’s Day into a holiday.

Even before I had a Valentine, I’ve always loved Valentine’s Day. When I lived at home, my mum would prepare these Valentine’s Day goody bags for us and leave them about places a the kitchen table. We used to take the candy to school for days. It made Valentine’s Day a day about saying “I love you” to anyone and everyone, which was a very important lesson.

At work today, many of my students complained about feeling lonely and unloved. I asked, “You love people, don’t you? And they love you, right?” For the most part, they smiled.

And that’s what’s important. Valentine’s Day isn’t about chocolate or flowers, though those are nice. It’s about family and friends and reminding those around us that they are loved.

Admittedly, I do have a Valentine. He left me a beautiful surprise on my porch this morning, and I’d like to share it with you. Happy Valentine’s Day!

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On My Mind

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend.

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If you’ve never heard the old (relatively speaking) song “How to Save a Life” by The Fray, go ahead and listen.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what it means to grow up, about how friends go in and out as people change. Is it okay to drift away from people who have known us since way back when? Is it okay to find people who understand us better than those friends ever could? I tell myself, “Of course that’s okay. That’s how we live. That’s how we grow.”

But that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

I trace my life back through the friends I’ve had and friends I have, friends who were once mere acquaintances, and acquaintances who I once called friends. I used to make friends on my own, but recently I’ve come to rely much more on other people, and the friends that they bring into my circles. My friendship circles are smaller, but also larger; diverse, but also eerily similar. I wonder how that happens.

In some senses, I know when it’s time to let someone go and I know when it’s time to let someone in. (Admittedly, however, my favorite people are the ones with whom I’ve grown closer naturally; those are the friendships that leave us laughing about how we possibly got here.) What is hard for me, however, is watching friends drift away. Sometimes, it’s a mutual drift in which all parties recognize a natural parting of ways, remain in touch, and catch up on occasion. Other times, it’s a one-sided drift in which one party holds on frantically, afraid of what’s going to happen if he or she lets go.

A little over a year ago, a very dear friend and I stopped speaking. I’m not sure when it happened, how, or why, but I do know that I tried to pull her back. And I do know that she resisted. I was angry for a while, then sad. I was disappointed, I was hurt. I’m still sad because I loved her like a sister, but I’m not angry. People grow, people change, and that’s just the way the cookie crumbles. If she ever needs anything, I’m here for her. In a crisis, I’m sure she’d be there for me. But rather than dwell on that, I’ve put my energies into new groups, new friendships. People grow, people change…. Right?

Nevertheless, it’s hard to say goodbye to someone who knew me way back when.

“Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness. And I would have stayed up with you all night had I known how to save a life.” – “How to Save a Life”, The Fray