For Mother’s Day, my partner gave me a candle and a bottle of bubble bath, not something I use or ever would have bought. Late that afternoon, he occupied our then two-month-old daughter and I lit the candle, filled the bath, and soaked with my eyes closed. I emerged twenty minutes later with energy, a smile, and a newfound sense of calm.

I had been gifted time off, cleverly forced into relaxation, and found it very pleasing indeed.

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This afternoon, nursing our now four-and-a-half-month-old daughter, I hit a wall I didn’t know I was facing. Her eyes started to close and mine followed suit. But Baby Girl very quickly had other ideas, and the moment was gone before it started. I hadn’t even known I was tired.

As we often do once my partner gets home from work, we started getting ready to go out for a walk, but the energy that usually comes from going out continued to elude me. I am not a person to sit around and relax (hence the need to be forced into it) and all I wanted to do was rest. Strange. I suggested to my partner that they go without me, and I surprised myself by letting them.

And then I myself drew a bubble bath.

I didn’t want to get off the couch, but I also didn’t want to face the chores I could be doing, some of which were visible from the couch. I didn’t want to do just one thing and then another quick thing, and wait they’re back already?

I got into the bath and closed my eyes, opening them half an hour later to a still apartment. I took my time toweling off and getting ready to face the world again, for once without a guilty conscience. For half an hour I had done nothing, forced myself into taking some time to relax, recharge, and rejuvenate.

It worked.

I tend to be a person whose relaxation comes from a long walk in the woods, whose time off means time in the kitchen following a recipe to avoid having to think. There was a time where I would have done some yoga to shake the fatigue and then continued with the day.

But today, I just needed to do nothing and the way to ensure that was to get into a bath. My glasses remained in their case. My phone was in a different room. My baby was in good hands. My partner had given me the gift of forced relaxation for a reason. Sometimes, the only thing to do is say yes and drift away.